Project Cardinal
by nowittynamehere
Summary: Pretty much about two guys that join Sabertooth and their random adventures (mishaps) around Fiore. More Fairy Tail will be later in the story. Warning, pretty strong language and some suggestive themes. Rated T due to me not wanting to rate this M. Great story if you want to learn bad words. I'll think of a better cover later. Title will also make sense later.
1. Chapter 1

***IT IS RECOMMENDED YOU READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE CONTINUING, It'll probably be useful***

 **Well hello there good reader. I welcome you to this story and I hope you like it. First off, from this point on, author's notes will be bolded, and editor's notes will be both bolded and italicized. Second, there is no, I repeat NO, clear time on updates. I have a rather busy schedule and I have to send this to my editor and then revise, then read, revise… I think you get the point. I am willing to take suggestions to chapters, and if you have any arc ideas send them to me and I'll most likely write it into the framework of my overall plot. Pairings will exist but will most likely not be the main point of this story. As for the specific pairings, I will try to keep semi-canon ones and maybe some others…I guess. If anyone wants any people to be together just tell me. I will try to make it work. Unless you want to mess with GaLe (Gajeel and Levy). I'm sorry but that's the only pairing nobody has a say in. As for characters, I will try to make them correct but again, no promises. Writing can be hard. If you didn't read the summary, this is a mostly Sabertooth story. Fairy Tail will be mentioned and included but it is NOT the most important guild or part here. If you are wondering why, blame Michael Jones. He is my favorite Achievement Hunter and, well, I learned he was the voice actor for Sting. That was actually the reason I started watching Fairy Tail in the first place.**

 **Also, there are some blanks on the Fairy Tail wiki about locations and other, "things". In other words, there will be some made up places, locations, and details/descriptions (I was looking at pictures and in some scans, the Sabertooth Guild has a giant Sabertooth statue on top, and in another it doesn't. For this story, it exists.). Also, this happens after the Magic Games X791. After that, the entire current story line doesn't exist. Tartaros Arc never happened/happens. In other words, this is an alternate universe. Big time. I will try my hardest to make it interesting though! As an added thought, Jiemma is gone from Sabertooth but Minerva is still there, she is also reformed and nicer now. Kind of like after the Tartaros Arc. If you're wondering how or why, my answer is therapy. Also, Fairy Tail Guild was never destroyed so it still looks cool. For now. (I like destroying things)**

 **Final note, I like to write a lot of random bullshit sometimes. It will be strange and unorthodox at times. Crude humor will probably be around and maybe some sexual references however there will be NO sex, lemon, slash at all. I don't even want to try to write it. In other words, this will be rated "T" unless I decide to change it. I am also rating it a "T" due to some mild to severe gore, violence, blood, other. Oh yeah, there will also be cursing. No racial slurs but you know, the usual words like "fuck" and "shit". I'll try to keep it to a minimum though.**

 **Everything else but my OCs belong to Hiro Mashima. In other words I do NOT own Fairy Tail (you should be glad I don't. If I did, everything would be pretty strange).**

* * *

Chapter 1: New Arrivals

If anyone had asked him if he could climb a mountain, Yemon Lee would have answered with a shrug and an eventual nod. However, if anyone asked him if he would do it, they would've received an immediate no. Yet there he was, holding onto a frozen rock, on the side of a cliff, with nothing but empty air to keep him from splitting his head open on the rocks below. Yeah, he definitely knew what he was doing.

"This was a dumb idea from the get go." He sighed as he continued to haul himself up the grizzled side of the precipice. He had been climbing for hours and his black hair was already completely white from the falling snow. At the same time, his eyes had developed a twitch and he could barely feel his left leg. Yep, the epitome of fun in Lee's book. He looked up for what felt like the millionth time and was pleased to see the top of the mountain only a few hundred feet away. After regaining his breath, he lifted both of his feet higher up, before jumping outwards and up. He extended his hand and was just barely able to grab onto a small fissure in the rock. He grimaced as the rock cut through his glove and tore his skin. He shook his head trying to clear the pain and continued onwards stopping for virtually nothing.

 _Just a little more,_ he thought as he saw the mountain's summit finally come into reach. With a grunt, he launched himself upwards and grabbed onto the edge. Smiling, he finally pulled himself onto the pinnacle of the alp. He lifted his head and came face to face with another person.

"What the fu-?" They both inquired in shock before falling backwards.

"Who the hell are you?!" Lee yelled as he reached for his knife.

"I could ask the same thing!" the man responded as he raised his hand and positioned his fingers as if he was about to snap. Lee quickly flipped out his knife and pointed it straight at the other man's throat. After a silent and frozen stalemate, they both cautiously lowered their respective weapons and stood up.

"So," Lee spoke ending the deadlock, "who are you?"

"Robert Castles." The other man answered after a few seconds. "And you?"

"Lee. Yemon Lee." The other man snickered causing Lee's eye to twitch again. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, just the name Yemon. I've never heard of that one before."

Lee sighed and shook his head. "So what are you doing here?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"I'm going to join Sabertooth guild." Robert stated proudly before looking expectantly at Lee.

"Same as you. I guess that's why you were also climbing this mountain."

Robert nodded before turning his head towards the large statue of a saber-tooth in the distance. "By the looks of it, we're actually rather close." Lee nodded and began walking towards the guild. He stopped suddenly as he realized the cliff ended abruptly.

"Well shit." He sighed as he gazed despairingly at the at least one thousand foot drop-off in front of Robert and himself. "Well at least we didn't fall off-." His sentence ended suddenly as the rock beneath their feet unexpectedly crumbled. They looked at each other in panic before falling through the air. Robert and Lee quickly grabbed onto the rock that had fucked them and hung on for dear life. They watched in horror as the slab of stone they were on rocketed towards an outcrop shaped like a ramp. They let out very unmanly screams and shut their eyes as the boulder shot off the gradient and flew into the air like an arrow. They slowly opened their eyes and realized they were heading straight for the guild hall's main window.

"Damn, that's rather convenient." Robert mused.

"Yeah, I'm rather impressed by the aim of that rock."

"We should probably brace for impact…"

"Agreed." Lee said with a nod. They both curled into balls and clasped their hands behind their necks.

 _This is going to hurt A LOT._ Lee thought as he tensed up and squeezed his eyes shut.

* * *

"Damn, this chair can be so uncomfortable." Sting Eucliffe grumbled as he readjusted himself once again. "Maybe if I could get a cushion or something…"

"Hey Sting?" he heard Rogue yell at him. "Do you think the new request board should be by the entrance or more near the side?"

"Uh, How about-." He was cut off as the window above the guild hall shattered and two figures slammed into the ground creating large cracks in the floor. The room grew quiet as the human balls slowly uncurled. There in front of them lay two seemingly unconscious boys. Sting opened his mouth to speak when suddenly one of the strangers spoke.

"Holy shit. That really hurt." The one who spoke sat up and poked the other one. "Hey, Robert, you okay?"

"Fuck off Lee, I'm dead." The other one, apparently Robert, mumbled.

"Are you guys okay?" Yukino asked in a concerned tone.

Lee nodded weakly and looked around at the guild hall. The first thing Sting noticed was his eyes. They were a piercing gray that seemed to be examining everything they looked at. His gaze switched over to Robert who had just risen. He took in his dark blonde hair and emerald green eyes with a smirk.

"So, um, Robert and Lee, what are you doing here?" Sting asked trying to gain control of the situation.

Lee turned his gaze towards Sting and slowly got up dragging Robert along with him.

"We both came to join Sabertooth. We heard of new leadership and that you were accepting new members. Hence, why we are here."

Sting nodded in understanding and then gave a large smile. "Well then, welcome to Sabertooth. Although I would recommend you next time use the road instead of falling through our ceiling. Anyway, Lee what's your full name, age, and magic type?" Sting questioned before signaling for someone to record Lee's answer.

However, Lee only stared at him.

"There's a road?"

* * *

After a few minutes of explaining and confusion, the newcomers were finally able to get back on track.

"My name is Yemon Lee, though I just go by Lee. I am currently 18 years old. My magic is, well, it's rather complicated. What that means is I have no idea what the hell it is." Sting raised his eyebrow at this statement. "I can create large quantities of energy and somehow fuse them into bolts, or rays, of magic that are usually uncontrollable in large amounts and give off massive amounts of heat. Other than that, I really can't do much else. Oh, I am good at knives though." Sting nodded in slight understanding before turning to Robert.

"And you?"

"My name is Robert Castles." He spoke somewhat tiredly. "I too am 18 years old and my magic type is dimensional teleportation and transportation. I do so with a snap of my fingers." To demonstrate, he snapped and a small portal looking thing appeared above him. Before anyone could react, an anvil fell from the portal and hit Robert on the head. "Oh yeah, I forgot I teleported that." He muttered before falling forwards.

"Okay," Sting continued. He paused for a second before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a sheet of paper. He muttered to himself for a few seconds before looking back up. "According to this, the next part is getting the guild mark. Where do you want them and what color?"

"Oh shit, I forgot about this question." Lee breathed. "Uh, how about on the back of my neck "Also, make it gray."

Sting nodded in understanding and had the Guild mark placed before turning to Robert. "And you?"

"Back of left shoulder, green please." He muttered into the floor. After it was placed, Sting began to speak again.

"You are now official members of Sabertooth." Sting exclaimed while looking back at the sheet of paper in his hand. "Congratulations on this achievement, blah blah blah, you now have the opportunity to take missions, some more serious crap, yada yada yada, protect guild from foreign threats. Boring stuff I don't want to read… Have a duty to uphold as a member in the Grand Magic Games. Okay yeah, I think that covers it."

Lee nodded in understanding and Robert gave a grunt of approval.

"Oh yeah," Lee spoke up, "we kind of just arrived in the town, so in other words we have no places to stay, and no Jewels either, can we just live here for a little while until we earn some money?"

Sting nodded and looked at the other guild members to see if they had any problems with it.

"Thank you for your generousness to our cause." Robert said as he lifted his head.

* * *

The rest of the time had been them warming up and meeting the other guild members. They had met, Yukino, Rogue, Minerva, Orga, Rufus, Dobengal, Lector, Frosch, and other assorted members including, but not limited to, Juan, Paul, and Alexis. After getting acquainted with everyone, they quickly changed out of their winter climbing gear and donned their regular clothes.

Lee wore dark gray pants, black boots, a white shirt, and a dark gray coat. Hidden behind his waist was his ever present black tanto knife, a memento and gift from his father. Inside his jacket, several smaller throwing knifes were concealed and he carried several smoke bombs in the sleeves of his coat. He was a mage but he still liked to keep a few extra weapons with him if he got into a pinch. After all, magic couldn't do everything and he had seen people that had solely relied on magic get killed.

Robert on the other hand wore white pants, black boots, a dark green shirt, and a white vest engraved with gold. The only auxiliary weapon he carried was a small foldable bow that fired multiple types of arrows.

After they were done changing, they flopped onto a couch to rest and finally relax. They sat like this for several minutes in silence

"This is fucking boring as hell." Robert mused.

"Very." Lee affirmed

"Want to go do a mission?"

"Eh, why not."

They both rose from their resting positions and trudged towards the "new" and "improved" job board.

"Okay let's see what we got here," Lee murmured as he and Robert began to scour the bulletin for work offers.

"Oh this one looks like it could be interesting. It's rather simple and looks like it's got a rather good reward too." Robert spoke gaining Lee's attention. "It says: track down bandit, return necklace to rightful owner. Reward, 50,000 Jewels. Location, Magnolia Town."

"Wait, isn't Magnolia the base of operations for Fairy Tail? Why didn't they get this mission?"

Robert shrugged. "I guess they know Sabertooth is better. Well either way, let's do it."

Lee nodded, giving his approval, still wondering about the job as they headed towards the guild exit.

"Hey are you guys heading towards Magnolia Town?" Yukino asked them. After they nodded, she continued. "This letter needs to be delivered to the Fairy Tail guild and we were wondering if you would be willing to deliver it now that you're on your way there."

"Sure, why not." Lee took the note and examined it. The letter was a plain manila color with a red waxy seal to keep it closed. He turned it over in his hands before stowing it in his coat. "See you guys later!" he called out while waving behind him.

* * *

The way to Magnolia was calm and they met no problems besides the occasional pothole. Along the way, they talked about themselves and got to know each other better. They discussed magic, food, and of course, alcohol. Before long, they spotted the rising peak of the new Fairy Tail Guild and they whistled in awe. Although it wasn't as big as the Sabertooth Guild, it was still an impressive sight.

After another short walk through the town, they found themselves right outside the front gate of the guild. Gathering their nerves, they walked through the front gates, and looked around at the outside tables, finding them all desolate. Then, a large creaking sound resonating from inside the guild. They stopped and looked at each other in confusion. Steeling themselves for what they were about to see, they walked forward. Robert took a deep breath before pushing open the door.

Instead of the front door swinging open, the entire door fell off its hinge and slammed into the ground. The two Sabertooth mages froze as every eye in the guild turned towards them. However, the only thing Lee and Robert noticed was a huge barrel of alcohol being lowered from the ceiling via a large crane.

"Son of a fucking bitch." Lee breathed. "What the hell did we just walk into?"

* * *

 **This is technically a prologue. I know this is labeled chapter one but that is so I don't get confused during uploads. Also, If there were any inaccuracies that I DIDN'T mention, please tell me via PM or review. All favorites, follows, and comments are appreciated. I don't block any messages so don't think it won't show up. I also will respond to every review that comes in and I will continue to do this for every chapter afterword. I will respond in the author's note before the actual chapter. Unless I forgot. That would be kind of depressing if I did forget… Thanks for reading!**

 **And now, a quick note from my editor:**

 _ **Yemon means Guardian.**_

 **That's all for now! See you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And I'm back. Amazing right. I just want to say, I had some doubts considering how the current storyline is great (the real anime and manga). But I'm sticking to my guns about the events and how this differs from the original story. I really will try to make it interesting. I swear. Also, many thanks to you two who have favorited and followed.**

* * *

 _Previously…_

" _Son of a fucking bitch." Lee breathed. "What the hell did we just walk into?"_

* * *

Chapter 2: Mission gone slightly wrong

Lee and Robert continued to stare at the barrel of alcohol in awe while the rest of the guild stared at them. After about two minutes of silent wonder, a man with pink hair jumped above the rest of the guild members.

"Who're you guys?"

Both Lee and Robert blinked a few times surprised by the sudden outburst.

"Huh, oh uh, I'm Lee and this is Robert, we are here to deliver a message from Sabertooth to your guild master." Lee responded after recovering from his and Robert's trance.

"Ah, I was expecting that. I'll take it." They heard a gruff voice say. They looked around for the source confused on where it came from. Robert and Lee heard a cough and they looked down to find a short, annoyed, graying man. "I am Makarov Dreyar." He said as he held out his hand.

Robert and Lee blinked.

"He's a lot shorter than I thought." Robert whispered to Lee. At this, Yemon nodded and Makarov twitched. The pair noticed this and quickly handed over the letter before making a tactical withdrawal towards the door. "Bye guys, we'll probably see each other later!" Robert called out as he pushed open the last standing door. As he did so, the door gave a 'creak' before falling to the ground.

"You should probably fix that…" Lee suggested before rapidly leaving the premises with Robert close behind.

"That was, strange…" Erza mused as she watched their dust trail settle, before turning back to her strawberry cake.

* * *

"Thank, God," Lee gasped in between breaths, "we got out of that." Robert nodded in agreement and they slowly stood back up. Lee wiped away his perspiration, straightened his jacket, and pulled out a map. "Now to the mission."

"What are we doing again?" Robert asked as they resumed their path.

"Something about finding a bandit and returning a necklace." Lee responded as he flipped his map around a few times. "Okay so we're he-."

Lee was suddenly cut of as Robert tripped over something and slammed into the ground. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" He shouted as he looked behind himself at a book laying on the ground.

Lee looked at it sideways. "It has something written on it." He reached down and picked it up. "E, N, D." He muttered to himself. Before he could say anymore, Robert snatched the book and punted it into the air. Lee blinked a few times before looking at the flying book.

"FUCK THAT SHIT!" Robert yelled before snapping. The book was sucked into a vortex and disappeared. Lee blinked again.

"Where'd you send it?" He asked.

"Some library I accidently went to onetime. Something about united states..."

* * *

 **UNITED STATES LIBRARY OF CONGRESS**

 **Restricted Area D**

It was night at the national library and the entire building was silent. Even if one was in the structure, they wouldn't have heard the soft 'thump' of a book landing in the back recesses of a shelf behind several top secret government archives. And there, the book rested. Until found again. Probably by Richard, the librarian. He tended to go up to the restricted section and read random shit. There was nothing better than learning about the country's random problems and hidden cookie records.

But until he did, it would sit collecting dust waiting for someone, or something, to find it.

* * *

As they approached their mission's destination, Lee gasped "Holy shit," as they looked at the looming building in front of them. It was located behind a nearby hill and was decorated with several ornate statues and designs. "These people definitely have certain…tastes."

Robert nodded before walking forward and knocking. Before Lee or Robert could react, two knight statues standing next to the door drew their swords and pushed them against the two young men's necks. Another couple of knights extended from the ground and pushed their blades against the men's Achilles tendons. A quick swipe and they would be immobilized. They gave slightly surprised gasps before going dead still. The door in front of them opened faintly to reveal a young girl and a slightly older male who seemed to be her brother.

"Who are you?" She whispered shyly.

"We are the ones who were coming to answer a request about a necklace." Lee choked out. The girl's face instantly brightened. She said some unknown dialect and the stone soldiers instantly stepped back into their original position.

"Come on in." She said with a smile. "My name's Alicia and this is my brother Tom!" Lee and Robert looked over at the boy and were meet with an icy stare. He had his hand on a sword strapped to his waist and he was watching them cautiously.

"Nice sword you got there." Robert exclaimed, studying the intricate pattern on the hilt and the beautifully carved sheath. The boy's glare let up a little and his grip loosened.

"Sorry about him." The girl suddenly chirped. "He's a bit overprotective of me at times." Lee and Robert nodded in understanding.

"I know how you feel." Lee said as he turned to the boy. "I have two younger sisters and a younger brother."

"Same here." Commented Robert. "Except I have a total of ten siblings. Yeah, I have a large family…"

Lee looked at Robert with a raised eyebrow. "Ten?"

"There's Billy, Frank, Julia, Ashley, Gerald, Jocelyne-."

"Okay, I get the point."

They both looked forward and were greeted by another large oak door in front of them. Alicia pulled open the door and gestured for them to enter. They obeyed and walked through the twin doors and came face to face with a large, polished table, covered with a silken cloth. Robert whistled and Lee looked around the room in awe.

"Are you here for the job?"

Both men immediately faced forwards. They hadn't even noticed the man at the end of the table.

"Yes sir, we are here to help." Lee responded as he brought his hand up in a salute. Robert followed his example and the man raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"At ease. My name is Lewis Bonaparte. Your assignment is to go and find the criminal who stole my daughter's necklace," he stated, gesturing towards Alicia who in turn waved. "I believe you should be able to find the thief in a local Pub called the Cat's Paw. You will get extra if you capture him alive. Also, in case it is important, the necklace is made of gold and has diamonds carved into the center along with a large ruby. You'll know it when you see it."

Lee and Robert nodded and exited, heading out towards the town again.

"Time to catch us a robber."

* * *

After arriving back in the center of Magnolia, the duo spent around 15 minutes searching for the saloon before finally finding it tucked into a deserted part of the village. They walked in and were surprised to see it sparsely populated. Bars were usually packed in Fiore, however this one was…different. Neither Robert nor Lee could put their finger on it, but the atmosphere was a little strange. The room was quiet but there was an almost a deafening tension inside the saloon.

The pair walked up to the main counter. Robert ordered rum while Lee decided to just go with water. Robert raised his eyebrow at his partners order before sitting back and examining the people in the immediate vicinity.

The first thing they noticed was that there was a total of five other people in the bar. Two of which had no arms OR legs. The other three were sporadically placed around the bar. The one near them at the counter was unconscious, one by a nearby table was obviously way beyond tipsy and humming to himself, and the third was in a hidden corner sitting by himself with a dark brown coat and hat hiding his face. However, what caught Lee's eye was the sparkle of diamond that suddenly flashed from his hand.

 _Well that was easy._ He thought before nudging Robert. He nodded his head in the direction of the man and Robert winked in understanding. They both chugged their drinks before splitting up and approaching the hooded man.

They stopped several feet away from his table when he decided to move. He lifted his head to reveal dark blue eyes. Lee and the man stared at each other for several seconds in a silent standoff. Suddenly, the man jumped up and launched his table at Robert knocking him over. Then, he jumped at Lee with extreme speed while a foldable sword shot out of his sleeve. Lee was just barely able to react and pulled his knife out just in time to block the blow.

' _Where the fuck did that sword come from?'_ Lee thought as he clenched his teeth, the pressure started to push him back and he grunted as his arms started to give. Before Lee could jump back, the man lifted his hand and water came shooting out of it flinging Lee across the room into the wall creating a sizable dent. He grunted in pain before standing up shakily. By the time he did so, the man had already left the vicinity and was racing towards the market place. Robert stood up and threw money at the bartender

"Wait, I thought you didn't have any money left." Lee said to Robert as they turned to leave.

"Oh, I always have alcohol cash."

* * *

As soon as they had entered the market, Lee and Robert knew they were going to have trouble. Their target was dodging in and out of view and quickly getting away from them. The duo took off in pursuit. They were jumping over and around multiple vendors. However, their objective wasn't about to give up.

The man turned around before blasting Lee's position with water. The shot hit Lee dead on and sent him careening into a melon vender. In response, Lee grabbed a nearby fruit and chucked it at the running water mage. The projectile hit its target, causing him to trip and slam into a wall while giving Lee enough time to recover and rejoin the chase.

While that had been going on, Robert had been trying to aim his anvil attack. He snapped and an anvil mercilessly slammed into the back of the man's knee causing him to cry out in pain and fall to the ground.

Both Lee and Robert walked up to the man. Lee pulled out a knife while Robert positioned his fingers to snap. Their target only smiled.

"Do you see where we are?" He asked with a smug expression. Both Lee and Robert looked around. They were on a bridge. Over a river. Their faces dropped and they looked at each other.

"OH SHIT!" They both yelled as the river exploded.

* * *

"Fuck me." Robert sputtered as he and Lee crawled ashore. "Did we lose him?" Lee looked around and noticed a small trail of blood leading down the road. He pointed to the said path and Robert nodded.

They both ignored their own pain and stood before following the trail. Sure enough, after a half run/limp, they saw the man walking down a backstreet. They noticed his knee was bleeding lightly, which had led to the blood path being formed. They both worked past their discomfort to charge the man. He turned just in time to see them coming and his eyes widened in surprise. He recovered quickly and took off running.

"Fuck we have to stop this chase." Lee yelled. "You go left and try to intercept him." He yelled to Robert who nodded before peeling off. As soon as his partner disappeared behind a building, Lee grimaced and picked up speed. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a throwing knife. Without stopping, he drew back his hand and flung it. It followed its path and stabbed into the man's left shoulder. He saw the criminal flinch before pulling out the knife and throwing it to the ground. Suddenly, Robert slid out from an alley with his bow drawn. Lee grinned and pulled out his tanto. However, as soon as Robert had released the arrow, the man jumped into the air and grabbed onto a low hanging bar.

Lee's mouth dropped open at the sudden and agile move. Then he remembered the arrow. He looked back down with large eyes and was hit in the gut with the projectile. He fell back in pain and coughed. Robert ran to Lee and helped him up while apologizing. He picked up his arrow and looked towards the roof tops for any sign of their target. Realizing, they wouldn't see him from the ground, Lee grabbed the same bar the man had used to escape and hauled himself (very ungracefully) up onto the building's roof. He scanned the rooftops and saw their target running straight towards the Fairy Tail guild. Lee smirked and relayed the information to Robert before taking off across the roof tops.

Lee heard many gasps as citizens looked up to see a man racing across their roofs. Within a minute Lee had almost completely caught up with their fugitive. However, the one thing he had realized while doing so was that they were still heading straight towards the Fairy Tail guild hall. As if to confirm his worries, the man gave a giant leap and landed on the guild's fence. Lee continued to look on gloomily as the man then jumped again onto the main building.

After sighing, Lee proceeded to follow the other man's lead. He landed on the fence before also jumping to the main building. His target turned around with wide eyes, obviously surprised by his pursuer's determination. The man grimaced before running away again and climbing the guild tower's wall. However, before he could get far, Lee ran up the wall and body slammed the man…right into a window.

The glass shattered causing the two men to fall into the guild before being "saved" by a large wooden surface. Lee looked down to see the giant alcohol barrel underneath himself and his enemy. He then looked over the side of the barrel to see the shocked faces of many Fairy Tail members all who had mugs of rum in their hands. Lee looked back up only to be greeted by a foot that connected with his face and sent him spinning backwards and almost off of the barrel. He regained his balance and dodged the next strike while sending out a punch himself. However, the man blocked the jab and brought his knee to connect with Lee's jaw. The latter took this opportunity and dropped to the floor while swiping his foot. The move successfully knocked the man off his feet as the guild door slammed open to reveal an out of breath Robert. As the man started to fall off the barrel, Robert notched a red tipped arrow and let it fly.

Lee watched in amazement as the arrow flew straight and true. Right before it hit the man, the tip inflated to reveal a glove. The said glove slammed into the man's face throwing him in the opposite direction of his original course. The unconscious man flew, rag doll style, down before having his groin smashed in by a railing. All the males in the guild gave grunts off pain and looked away.

Lee grimaced and spit out some blood before carefully dropping down to the ground and throwing the man over his shoulder.

"Sorry about that." He laughed as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm pretty sure that won't happen again." He shuffled towards the exit with Robert and they waved to a still slightly shocked Fairy Tail guild. They quickly removed themselves from the guild and took off towards their employer's house.

"Fuck that was awkward." Robert hissed. Lee nodded in agreement and they continued on in silence.

* * *

They arrived back at the mansion out of breath and tired. However, before they rang the doorbell, they put on a façade of strength.

The door opened to reveal a very happy Alicia and a boy older than Tom.

"This is my other brother Landon." She explained. "He's 16." The boy nodded once and allowed them inside.

"Where's Tom?" Robert asked.

"Probably in the wood's training."

Lee carefully pulled out the girl's necklace and handed it over to her. She smiled with a look of extreme happiness that seemed to light up the hall and almost caused Robert and Lee to go blind. Alicia's brother smiled slyly before beckoning them to follow him.

"Lee and Robert!" They heard the familiar voice of Mr. Bonaparte exclaim. "I see you have indeed captured the culprit."

"Look daddy!" Alicia exclaimed. "They also got my necklace back." The man smiled brightly and nodded gratefully towards the two mages.

A few seconds later a couple of armed guards removed the unconscious criminal from Lee. After the thief was taken into custody, Mr. Bonaparte pulled out the required jewels and handed them over to the duo. They saluted and said goodbye to Alicia and Landon before waltzing out the door.

As they headed back towards their guild, Lee and Robert realized that they had a pressing matter that they needed to attend to. They didn't have a team name.

"How about Team Whatchamacallit?" Robert suggested. Lee shrugged in a sign of indifference towards the idea. After a few more silent minutes, Robert spoke up again. "Team Screw Up or Team SU for short?" This name caused Lee to stop completely and smile.

"I like it." He said in acceptance. "It covers the thing we're probably going to do A LOT."

"Then it's decided. Team Screw Up has been officially formed as of today."

The two new members nodded their heads in agreement and bumped fists before looking out across the glittering horizon that was lit up by the last rays of the fading sun.

"We look so heroic." Lee whispered.

"Fuck yeah we do."

* * *

 **Just in case you didn't check the Wiki like I did, 100 jewels are usually equal to $1 USD. I always appreciate any reviews, favorites, and/or follows. I also greatly appreciate any suggestions you guys may have for any upcoming chapters.**

 **Thank you ShirazakiYami for the review. I will try to keep up to your expectations**


	3. Chapter 3

**And Chapter 3 is here. After a very long time of self-evaluation and writers block. In fact this first chunk I write will probably just be the authors note. I know events may be a little rushed but now they will slow down a bit (or at least I'll try to make them slow down...). Not so much that it gets monotonous and super boring, but enough that it seems like a regular day is going down. I rushed that last chapter a bit due to vacation and anxiety over school. Plus, I really wanted to get the mission over with and the meeting with Fairy Tail in. Now that those are out of the way, I can really get to the development of Lee and Robert. Yep, that's the biggest plan for the next few chapters. Let's see if I can actually accomplish that. Oh, and it's also so you can get a feel for what the guild looks like. In other words I get to play chief architect and designer. Fun!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Home Coming and Settling In

"Okay, a little to the left." Sting yelled up as he tried to get the workers to put the replacement glass in correctly. "A little more… WAIT, that's perfect! Set it down." He sighed as the heavy sheet was set into place and fastened to the frame.

"Is it done?" He heard Rogue ask and he nodded.

"That shit is expensive."

Suddenly, right before their eyes, the window smashed, and laying in a pile of glass were once again Lee and Robert.

"Holy hell." Robert groaned. "Why the fuck was there a giant ass golem in the middle of the road?"

"I don't even fucking now." Lee responded as he sat up and dusted off the glass pieces embedded in his coat. He looked up to see the annoyed face of Sting glaring down at him. ' _Ohhhhh shit_.' He thought to himself. "Hey Sting, what's up? Wha- aw, look at the time, I think it would be best if we, you know, go make sure everything's good elsewhere. Like, who knows, maybe there's a like, um...possessed gnome hiding in the guild. Don't want something like that messing the place up, heh heh. Bye!" He stuttered before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Robert blinked at the place Lee used to be.

"Fuck." He commented before snapping his fingers and disappearing.

Sting's eye twitched.

* * *

"That was actually terrifying." Lee breathed to himself. He stood up and then instantly fell as a solid object connected with his back. He turned around and was surprised to see nothing there. He blinked in confusion as he saw what he thought was a tiny footprint on his coat. Suddenly, the space in front of him rippled, and in front of him appeared Robert.

"What are you doing on the ground?" He asked in confusion.

"I have no idea."

"Well, either way, we should probably set up our room," Robert said as he turned towards their new living quarters. "We kind of skipped that step when we came here. We got dressed and then immediately left." Lee nodded in confirmation before standing up and brushing off his coat.

"Dibs on right." Lee called out as he walked into the brightly lit guest room.

After rummaging around in a closet, they both acquired two sets of bed sheets and then quickly made themselves at home. They took a step back and looked at their handiwork.

"Well, that's done." Robert exclaimed. "Let's go take a look around the guild."

They walked out of their humble abode and started strolling around the facility.

"Damn, they have a pool too?" Both Lee and Robert asked with wide eyes. "This place is awesome!"

"I told you it was good idea joining this guild." Robert commented as they continued walking.

"We didn't even know each other until we met on the mountain."

"Eh, whatever."

Lee rolled his eyes and they continued to explore the immediate vicinity. They soon realized that the guild was a lot larger than they had originally thought. They had walked past meeting rooms, the main meeting hall, the bar, another bar, a few small sparring areas, and other miscellaneous places. As they continued to walk, they saw a sign that read "Kitchen" and "Lounge".

Lee and Robert, suddenly interested, decided to follow the signs, fulling expecting a sparkling and impressive display of Sabertooth's taste and class. They were, at the very least, astonished by the sight in front of them.

The apparent "lounge" was completely destroyed. The floorboards were smashed, furniture was flipped, and there were several scorch marks "decorating" the room, in addition to the many slash marks in the walls.

"What the fuck happened here?!" exclaimed Robert and Lee as they swiveled around, taking the entire room into account.

"This is what happens when The Twin Dragons of Sabertooth 'disband'." They heard a voice say. They turned to see Minerva walk in the room with Yukino close behind.

"They did quite a number on the place." Lee commented as he continued to glance around the lounge. "Why haven't you repaired it?"

Minerva shrugged. "Haven't had the time, or the patience. As you can see, this place is huge and we're in the middle of renovating the meeting room. One of the sabertooth statues got a crack in it and the walls need new layer of paint." Lee nodded in understanding.

"Hey, let's go the kitchen." Robert yelled as he left the room waving to the girls as he went. Lee nodded and said his goodbyes before following.

"Damn." Robert commented as Lee whistled. "This seems better."

The room was covered in white, displaying sparkling countertops and brilliant lighting. At the same time, it had a massive pantry stocked with tons of food, and ovens and stoves that spread about the area.

"We're definitely making breakfast here tomorrow." Lee said as he ran his fingers across the smooth marble counter. "Anything else to check out?" He asked as he turned away from the kitchen.

"According to this map that I somehow magically got," Robert started as he looked at his new chart, "all we have are a few random rooms and stuff. Otherwise our little tour is pretty much done." Lee nodded in approval.

"We should probably head back then." He stated as he started to leave.

"What? Why?"

"Guild should be closing soon and we most definitely don't want to get lost or trapped in here." Robert thought for a second before agreeing and the duo headed back to their room.

* * *

It had been two hours since the guild closed when Lee and Robert first heard the sound.

They had been sitting in their room reading when a "thump" rang through the building. Both Lee and Robert froze and listened. After hearing nothing, they shook off their curiosity and went back to their individual books. After a few more minutes the sound was heard again except louder. They looked at each other before slowly standing and walking towards their door. Lee grabbed his knife as Robert grabbed his bow.

They walked into the dark hall and looked around for any suspicious activity. After seeing nothing out of the ordinary. The two mages slipped out of their room and began to silently stalk down the hallway towards the guild meeting room. As they approached, the sound became consistent, and before long they stood in front of a wall where the sound seemed to be coming from. They looked incredulously at the wall before back at each other.

"Probably rats right?" Robert spoke at last. As soon as he did, the noise abruptly ended. The pair took a step back in surprise at the sudden end to the noise.

"What the fu-." Lee was cut off midsentence as the wall exploded open, sending shrapnel and debris into the two Sabertooth members. As their eyesight cleared, they noticed several very small silhouettes in the cloud of dust. To their astonishment, they were gnomes.

"By God," Robert whispered. "Your statement earlier has come true. The gnomes...are real."

* * *

"FUCK!" Lee shouted as he was hit by another volley of arrows. For the past hour, Robert and Lee had been running around while being assaulted by an army of about 1000 gnomes.

"There's so many of them!" Robert yelled as he fired a few of his own projectiles back. Lee nodded and grimaced as he yanked the gnome's bolts out of his shoulder and back.

"We have to do something or else we're going to literally die, by god damned gnomes. Of all the deaths that could possible happen to us that is by far the worst." Lee hissed as he and Robert retreated farther down a hall.

"True, but how? They have us blocked from our room where most of our weapons are."

Lee bit his lip and thought for a second.

"Okay I have an idea," Lee stated. "First, I will create a distraction by leading a counteroffensive to their right flank, drawing their attention away from you. As I do this, you—having climbed outside and around the side of the guild—will infiltrate into our room while silently removing any guards in sight. Then, you will leave via the window you came in from, while I escape through some ventilation shafts. Then we meet up at point foxtrot 3."

Lee and Robert stared at each other for a second before realizing something.

"Or I could teleport us into the room."

"That works too."

 **A few moments later…**

Inside Lee and Roberts room, two gnomes stood guard ready for any intrusions to happen. Suddenly, the air in front of them warped and two men leaped out of it. The gnomes had time to open their mouths in surprise before being tackled and knocked out by the two mages.

"Fuck yeah! We're in!" Lee stated as he glanced around for any other possible security.

"Of course. I'm amazing after all." Robert bragged, causing Lee to flip him off. They both grabbed their clothes and weapons. Soon, they found themselves standing at their door. They looked at each other and bumped fists.

"Fuck 'em up." Lee mouthed, causing Robert to grin and nod. Lee held up his hand. 3 he signaled, 2, 1. Robert dashed forward before being yanked back.

"What the hell?!" Robert hissed back.

"We go on fucking 0!"

"What?! Since when?!"

"When I started the countdown."

Robert rolled his eyes before resetting.

"3…2…1…0!"

The duo burst through the door straight into a large mob of gnomes in a ring formation. In the center stood their obvious leader. He was decorated from head to toe in gold and he had several medals decorating his armor. The convention's eyes widened as the two mages flew above them.

"Fuck yooouuuuu!" Robert hollered as he notched an arrow and let it fly straight into the gnomes' commander. Lee meanwhile, landed and launched himself forward as his knife cut through several gnomes at once. The room soon burst into chaos as the gnomes panicked. A few tried to fight back but were swiftly dealt with by a few arrows and tanto swings. The previously victorious army was soon in shambles as the gnomes began to route and retreat. In a matter of minutes, the guild was dead quiet.

The ground was littered with gnome bodies, looking as if someone had gone into a garden, stolen a large bunch of statues, and then taken them to their guild before destroying them all with a golf club. Needless to say, the building was in bad shape.

"We should probably do something about this…" Robert stated as he and Lee surveyed the area. They quickly grabbed the bits and pieces before throwing them out their window into a large pile of rubble below. Afterwards, they both collapsed from exhaustion and the sudden drawbacks of their adrenaline rush ending.

"Wake me in the morning." Robert groaned. His plea fell on deaf ears as Lee had already fallen into slumber. "God damn gnomes." Robert whispered before letting the arms of sleep envelop him.

They didn't notice the lone gnome watching them from a short distance away in the rafters of their room. The small garden decoration smiled before walking towards Robert and Lee's still open window and disappearing into the night.

* * *

At around 7:30 am the first Sabertooth members began to show up. They were greeted by the sight of Lee and Robert cooking eggs and holding mops. The pair looked over at the new arrivals and froze. They took quick looks at their cleaning tools before Lee chucked his broom and Robert snapped causing his mop to disappear.

"H-hey guys." Lee stuttered as he tried to act nonchalant.

"Beautiful day, right?" Robert commented.

"So what's up with you guys?" Lee questioned as he tried changed the subject.

The other members raised their eyebrows but didn't question it. They had learned by then that the duo had rather strange habits and could be confusing.

"Just opening up the guild hall for the day." Yukino spoke up as she went around turning on lights and unlocking doors. Lee and Robert nodded before shuffling away. As they aimlessly walked throughout the building, they ran into many different members that they had met before.

"Alexis, right?" Lee asked as they came upon a brunette. She raised her eyebrows at the mention of her name. "Plant magic?" She nodded at the question.

"And that's Roger and Leeroy. I'm pretty sure Roger's magic is mining, whatever that means. And Leeroy's is repair. That actually sounds useful." Robert responded pointing to two guys having a conversation by the pool.

"Looks like we do remember some things."

"Yeah it feels pretty nice. In other words I don't feel like an asshole."

They continued on their path until they once again came upon the destroyed room that was lounge.

"Damn, this place makes my slight OCD go crazy." Lee whispered.

"Want to do something about it?" Robert asked, as he too looked around the destroyed area and flinched. He saw Lee nod and he snapped.

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Lee shouted as the environment changed.

"Jesus, why are you yelling?" Robert asked as he took a step back after the sudden outburst.

"You have to warn me before we just teleport. I mean, I'm standing there, then there's a whoosh and ripple, and then I'm suddenly somewhere else!"

Robert thought for a second before shrugging. "I guess that's fair."

"Anyway, where are we?" Lee asked as he took stock of his surroundings. He saw several pieces of furniture and wood flooring examples before putting the pieces together. "We're in a department store, aren't we?"

"Yep. I saw one when we entered the town."

"Well, let's get going and buy some stuff." Lee said as he started to wander the area.

"Wait, but we have no money. How are we going to afford all the stuff we buy?"

"Eh, we'll just charge it all to Sabertooth."

Robert opened his mouth to respond but shut it soon after. He had a good point afterall.

 **40 minutes later…***

"That'll be 1,792,029 Jewels." The cashier said in a monotonous voice.

"Charge that to Sabertooth please." Lee said with a smile.

Robert's eye in the meantime developed a slight twitch.

After paying for the large amount of furniture and hardwood needed to repair the lounge, the pair teleported back and got to work. By the time dinner was called for the guild, their work was done.

The duo took a step back to admire their handiwork.

"We're pretty damn talented." Robert mused as they took a look at the sparkling new walls and floor and the spotless furniture casually placed around in an artistic manner.

"Hey what were you guys do-." Sting was cut off as he caught sight of the room. "DAUMN!" He suddenly cried, causing the rest of the guild to mosey over. As they each noticed the room, the more gasps became audible.

"I do not recall this room ever looking so amazing." Rufus said with a thoughtful look.

"What can I say?" Lee asked as he hopped down from the chandelier. "We were bored."

"What kind of person does this because they are bored?" Rogue asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Ones that have no life." Robert responded.

"OH YEAH," Lee suddenly exclaimed. He backed up. "We might have spent a little more than 1.7 million Jewels on this place and charged it to Sabertooth…"

Sting's eye twitched and his hand started to glow white.

"HEY! No doing that in here." Minerva suddenly shouted from above. "As you can see, this place is newly renovated." Sting looked up in slight fear before calming down.

"You guys owe us so much money." He growled. Lee and Robert both began to sweat and nodded.

"And we will pay it back in full." Lee said with a gulp.

"We promise." Robert followed up.

* * *

After they narrowly escaped being blasted to bits by Sting, the teammates quickly ate and headed to the pool to discuss how to actually repay the dragon slayer and guild.

"As I see it, we have a few possibilities on how to raise money." Robert stated. "We can rob a bank, do a few assassinations, mug some people, OR do a job that pays a lot of money."

"Considering how the first three are illegal, I suggest we do a job…" Lee stated as he looked at Robert with slightly disturbed eyes. He hadn't expected his friend to have such strange ideas. Or at least, to say the strange ideas in public with watchful eyes around them.

Robert nodded before continuing, "So we should probably get a mission then."

Lee nodded in agreement.

"Luckily I have just the one, AND it includes a heist!" Robert exclaimed pulling a request sheet out from behind his back. Lee squinted.

"Did you just pull that out of your ass?"

Robert raised an eyebrow before ignoring the question completely. "The request is, as says, to break into a maximum security bank and steal two necklaces back. If done, the reward is 1.2 million jewels."

Lee thought for a second before responding. "It's not the full amount we need but it is a start. Okay, let's do it. Go tell Yukino or whoever that we accept the quest and I'll go pack. I'm grabbing literally all of our weapons because this sounds slightly dangerous." Robert nodded and the two split up, after finishing their swim of course.

Neither of them expected the trouble to come out of the quest. After all, it was just a simple break in. One that was supposed to be on the pro rank ****** board…

* * *

 **Okay this chapter may have been a bit short and rushed but that's due to me getting bored. I'll work on that other stuff I stated at the beginning later. Also, if anyone was wondering why this isn't following the cannon Fairy Tail universe, it is because this is AU, AND Fairy Tail is way too long to just follow and add in my own characters. I didn't feel like making a random one shot or anything. I wanted to make my own characters and follow their interaction with this world and its diverse individuals. Okay that's all. Adios!**

 **As an added note, with the gnome thing….some of you may be thinking, "What the fuck?" Well, if you haven't noticed yet, this story is fucking weird. These kind of "plot changes/twists" are to be expected and from now on should be seen as normal. This was just a first taste. Thanks for your time.**

 ***It makes the effect greater if you say this in that SpongeBob time narrator voice. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry about it.**

 ****I learned somewhere that S-rank is like a Fairy Tail only ranking. If I'm incorrect about this, please tell me.**


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